Coming Out of the Closet | Being a Published Author #ErinRose


UPDATE: 12/16/2016

I am not a fan of deleting blog posts; especially one which has gotten a good amount of traffic. Deleting it does nothing for your analytics, page rank or SEO ranks. In light of some recent events, ‘book boy’ and I are no longer working on the pen name website together.  As a matter of fact, I have removed the website and all of the associated social media. I am still contemplating the book; he did tell me to finish it. I might. But right now it is not on my list of priorities.

Here’s what are my priorities:

I am going to get back to taking care of me and my own pen name that has years worth of publications. I need to get back to that. I need to finish these other things that are going on in my life. I’ll get there even though some things have changed, I still have my eye on the prize. 2016 has been a crazy journey for me and I have no regrets. 2017 will be Phase II of that life-changing and I am excited to see where the new year takes me.

I took my own risk on book boy and even though it did not end well, I have no regrets. We shared a lot of great laughs and had some good memories. That is what I choose to hold on to.




Original Post: 

Quite a bit of time has elapsed since I have sat down to compose a more personal post. I actually have put off this post for quite some time; not because I didn’t want to, but more because I wondered if I should. It’s never been a really big secret that I am a published author across a few genres with a few pen names. I have a quite a few books that I plan to rewrite or update in 2017 under my my pen name. But, there is one pen name that I have not been very vocal about on my personal spaces.

Back in May when I first introduced ‘book boy’  I had no idea where our path would take us. By then, we had been hanging out for a few months trying to figure out a voice for his project. In the beginning, we were trying to zero-in and get a book written. As we continued to learn and grow, it became apparent that we needed another outlet. The book has changed directions a few times now. There is such a wealth of information that it cannot be contained in one book. Instead, we have decided to break it down and focus on individuals involved separately.

And then we had to focus on taking time to care for ourselves. (You guys remember that time he wrote his own blog post???!?!?!?!)


What I’m Doing

Currently, I am working on a true crime book. Let me tell you guys, it has been one of the most painful, mentally exhausting experience in terms of my writing. No graduate school dissertation paper, no other book I’ve written, could even come close. It’s not just the details, the citations, the crime photos, or even having to put myself in victims shoes; but the sheer amount of work that goes into each and every little piece. I struggle. But I push myself along because I know that the possibility of what we could accomplish is greater than any struggle I may have. 


What We Did

J and I decided to start a website, named after the pen name we had chosen. That name was born out of the need for a place for J to dump his brain. At least, that is what I call it. Never in my life have I met a man as dedicated to finding the truth and telling the story as he. Day after day, night after night he continues. The website is just a small glimpse of what is inside his head and that seemed like an easier option at the time than trying to narrow things down to write a book. Website first, books later.

Even the pen name we picked held hidden meaning.

We hid behind the pen name for the year. When I had to reach out to people, I used that email. There were a few times, in the beginning, I called a few folks and pretended to be the pen name; that was confusing and unnatural. In time, we just started to email and talk to people as ourselves. Much, much easier. We were thankful that no one minded since everyone seems to use pseudonyms these days and they were all wonderful to not tell people the pen name was us.



What We Are Going to Do

Now, things are changing again. I am still plugging away on the true crime book; determined to get the world to open their eyes and see that the person in prison for murder is not the killer. It is pretty obvious since he’s sitting in prison due to botched DNA. Of course, the state is not going to admit that. But, with the help of some connections and J, I’ve been able to extract a wealth of information that if placed in the right hands, could potentially help the lawyers working on the wrongful conviction case. There is always hope. 

J is starting to tell his story. He’s found his own voice and I can’t tell you guys how thrilled I am! He has reached a point where he is coming out of the pen name shadow. At this point, he has to. It is time for him to tell his own personal story. Time for him to come out from behind the curtain and tell his tale because he is a huge connection to a lot of these things we discuss. I find that this is easier for him to focus and stay on his path. Otherwise, his thoughts jumble, and then he is off and running in a different direction.


Last year when the ex and I split, I made a comment about how life is a journey and this one is mine. This project with J has been quite the journey for me this year and I have no clue where it is going to lead us. Whatever happens, it is worth the risk of everything we put into it.

Worst case scenario? He could be wrong. But what if he’s not?

 Imagine how different our world would be if Einstein, Franklin, or Henry Ford gave up.

Most people are too afraid to chase after their dreams and hunches for fear of failure. 

Are you one of them? What would you do if you held the pieces to change not only your future but someone else’s? 

Would you take the risk?

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  1. I really like this idea of doing what you want, staying true to yourself. Writing is so personal and doing it for anyone but yourself is the best way to go.

    1. It can be, but we felt it was necessary since people we were connecting with knew it was us anyway. Just made sense. Plus I can use my own voice and social media influence to reach more people.
      I am glad he is finding his voice, too, Pam. It has been an amazing thing for me to see.

    1. Pen names are good.
      I have a pen name for my fiction that I have used for years and it works well for me.
      We are still using the pen name for the true crime book. We are just letting people know its us since people are finding out anyway.

  2. I often struggle with writing a single blog post, so I could only imagine how exhausting a book must be. I am glad you are pursuing your dreams, since life truly is too short to have any regrets or what ifs.

    1. Writing is hard in general. I have been blogging for 20 years and I STILL struggle with what to write. Sometimes fiction comes a little easier for me, oddly.

      But this one is a real story about a real girl. Because of all the facts and references, it makes it a little harder to write.

  3. It can be scary, but liberating coming out from behind the pen name. I’m glad you took that step and it seems to have lifted a weight off your shoulders.

    1. We’re still using the pen name for the website and publication. We’re just slowly letting it be known that we are the people who are behind the pen name 😉 since people are starting to learn it already.

  4. It’s good to hear your story. I hope you can step forward and achieve your goals for your good life. These is really inspiring.

  5. This is an interesting story. I think it’s very brave to be able to come out like this. Glad to hear you took the step though!

  6. I used to write short stories as a kid, I wanted to be an author then, but I guess I traded it for journalism school and then became a blogger….not quite as creative but still fun nontheless.

    1. I did too! And, a lot of poetry. I think I was about 9 when I had my first piece published. I always wanted to be an author but instead I went the accounting route and then later in life earned my masters in business. Oddly enough while I worked through that I was writing accounting and business articles for places like Intuit as well as news.. I have been blogging for about 20 years now..long before it was considered a paid profession.

    1. This book is by far the hardest one I have ever written – to date. Never know if I tackle another challenge in the future.

  7. You have peaked my curiosity. I went and read some of the blog last night. It sounds like a book that I would be interested in reading. I wish you and J continued success on this project.

    1. Thank you, thank you! And thank you for going and checking out ‘Abbey’s’ website. I will let you know when the book is done. The website gets new updates every few days now.

    1. I am so happy for him !
      Hiding behind a pen name can be difficult for a topic like this; especially for the connections we have and still need to make.
      I have no problem using a pen name for my fiction outlet though.

    1. It is not really a fear of chasing dreams that held me back, more like the fear of failure. I am a working on that.

  8. Wow, I love that you are following your dreams! Your book sounds really great. I have always wanted to write a book, maybe I will one day.

  9. Ooooo just loving this!!! Always be true to yourself!!! It’s the only way to be! This book sounds fantastic

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