Leaving the Past Behind in Indiana
When I originally sat down to do the outline of this post it was going to go in a much different direction. I was getting itchy for another road trip right after my birthday getaway and I couldn’t wait for the adventure that was waiting for me. I was going to go to a place I had never been before (Indiana) to hang out with a girl I had known for NINE years and had never been able to meet up with despite many honest attempts over the years.
But nothing, and I do mean nothing, went as planned.
Sometimes you just have to let things go.
Old me probably would not have been able to say that.
Well I could say that, but I doubt I would have been able to really follow through with it.
Sometimes you just have to leave things in Indiana.
I know that I have the power to be who I am and I can make my own life choices.
As part of making these changes in life, I am taking more risks and creating memories. These are things I need in order to get on the path of having some sort of normal life again.
This friend, whom I have known for 9 years but have never met in person, got in touch with me to tell me she wanted me to come with her to Indiana for the experience. It was going to be an experience for her too because it was a place she had never been and because it had been years since she had been able to take any sort of real vacation. So I told her I would love to go. I thought it would be great to finally meet and have an adventure we could share with the world.
I’ve always thought she as an amazing girl. There for a while when we first started talking I had a bit of a girl crush on her. She seemed to be so in touch with herself and not afraid of what others thought. She dressed different, had all these awesome hair styles that you’d see once in a blue moon, mostly magazines. She had that “screw you” attitude in that she was not going to conform to societies standard of how the world things girls should be. She was also a very loud voice for mental health and suicide prevention. I loved that about her.
We tried over the years to meet, but things just never worked out as planned. She lives a few hours from me and I never really minded to make the drive, but those last few years living with my ex I didn’t leave the house. She and I had gone out of touch here and there. I was never a long period of time and we always picked up right where we left off. I considered her to be a good friend.
We went on our great adventure. We chased the moon as we headed down the highway.
I got to meet her family.
I found some sunshine.
Then there was Doyle.
The great bonfire.
Learning how to do my hair like a Viking.
So much laughter. Great conversations.
But, just as quickly as it started it ended. A friendship no longer.
I left it all in Indiana.
At the end of the day I had experiences and made memories and that is what my life is all about these days.
I prefer to keep on the positive path to life changes and optimal wellness. It seems to be working much better for me.
It’s always upsetting to lose friendships, especially unexpectedly. You seem to have a great perspective on it though.
Thank you Pam!
Thanks for sharing this experience with us. It is never easy to lose a friend regardless of the reason, but we each need to do what is best for us.
I know what it is like to lose a great friendship, and its extremely difficult to let go, and more importantly to stop trying to make it work. But, you are right, you have to just move forward and let it go.
It can be hard to let go of the people we care about, but sometimes it’s for the best. Kudos to you for staying positive!
Thank you so much!
Wow. That post did not end the way I thought it would. I am surprised that you lost your friend. I am so sorry for you. I don’t know what happened, but at least you are staying positive.
There is something so healthy about accepting that not all people are lifetime people and that is ok though it hurts.
You are right, it does hurt, but you are better off in the long run.
I have ended more than one close, intense friendship due to either outgrowing that person or no longer being able to tolerate their behavior. I still wish them all love and light, but look at those past experiences as lessons for the future.
I have been there a few times myself.
I just lost a friendship recently. Sometimes its for the best.
It really is.
Loosing a friend can be really hard.Its important to try and stay positive no matter how hard it can be.
Positive for the win!
I love that you took the positive path. So sad that your friendship ended quickly. But acceptance is very important and keeping that positive mind will really help a lot.
Positivity is very important in my life these days.
When I moved to Toronto it seemed my best friend turned on me within the first 24 hours. It was really hard for me to deal with but in the end, it was for the best. Chin up – you are super awesome, there will be many friendships those that last are most important!
Oh wow. I will never understand some people. I am really sorry to hear that Jeanine. 🙁 But like you said, it was for the best. <3
Ugh, it’s so hard to do what’s best for us sometimes. Sorry you’ve lost a friend, but it sounds like what needed to be done.
Oh, so sorry about the news. I had a friend who died last week and it is really hard to loose someone.
Hmm
Quite honestly I don’t know how I got here but, I’m glad I did.
Some of the most painful losses that I’ve experienced have been very dear friends. A couple, distance just wouldn’t allow our friendship to continue. (Was really just too painful to adjust to the separation, seeing as in both cases we were extremely close and so heavily involved in each other’s lives, family’s, everything) We found it easier to stop contact for quite some time so we could accept our new paths and let go of what we thought we couldn’t live without. The other losses, though unique in their own way came way of “reality” really whether they chose a different path that I could not or would not follow, or they slept with my boyfriend, or they participated in some way with others to bring myself and family much pain, or they abandoned me in my darkest moments, many different situations, all painful and lost someone very dear but, with each it was just a matter of my accepting the reality of who they really were. That is not an easy thing to do when you can’t see it, not until it is bold, in your face and has taken a piece of you with it.
I’ve got some research to do now to figure out WHERE I AM. I got here looking for a gnocchi recipe…. : )
Well, however you got here, I am glad you found me. I went through a gnocchi period and have quite a few recipes on here for that. 🙂 I hope you found one you liked.
And, thank you for your comment on this post. It can be painful to leave friends and family behind. I imagine, almost everyone has had to do it one time or another. It can be tough, but if people are toxic we are much better off in the long run. Thank you for sharing your story with me.