Thursday, July 31, 2008 (Originally published on MySpace)
Thursday, July 31, 2008 (Originally published on MySpace)
Thursday, July 31, 2008 (Originally published on MySpace)
Monday, December 17, 2007
It has become tradition to do the Reflections blog. Here is this years.
Reflection – 2006
3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Moving 1000 miles away, leaving all of my friend behind. The loss of Terry, the death of Elonna and the death of my beloved grandmother. Getting in a fight with Sean and after the whole ordeal with Lonnie’s death, having to cut ties with Sean.
15) Did you break up with anyone in 2007?
Yes. The divorce marked the break up of me and Marcus after 10 years of being together, almost 5 of them married.
16) Did you make any new friends in 2007?
I sure as heck did. LOTS of them! *blows a kiss to you all*
17) Who are your favorite new friends?
ALL of them…. how can I pick just one?
18) What was your favorite month of 2007?
March and July – me and my gang rocked it out!
19) Did you travel outside of the country in 2007?
No 🙁 ….. But I should have, and now wish I did.
20) How many different places did you travel to in 2007?
Michigan in July for grandma’s funeral, and again the end of July to move
21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2007?
My grandmother in July, Elonna in October and Terry.22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
YES! Both of my grandparents, all my friends and loved ones back in OK, Elonna and Terry.
23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2007?
24) What was your favorite song from 2007?
h I have a few: they may not be new in 2007, but they meant something to me in 2007.
Hinder, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Daughtry, Bloodsimple
26) How many concerts did you see in 2007?
Zero, oh wait I went to this Biker Bash in July when I moved to MI and there were a few bands there, does that count, even if they were all local??
27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2007?
28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2007?
More then my fair share… Guinness anyone??
29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2007?
Only those prescribed, and that was a whole hell of a lot for a while there between the depression, the stomach and intestinal illness, high blood pressure and the back issues. But since moving to MI, I only take my meds to help me sleep (damn anxiety), my blood pressure (see need to get my health in shape!)
30) How many people did you sleep with in 2007?
31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Would have to be, putting mike and mine personal bullshit out there like I did. I know I am very open with my life. And I know this is my corner of the blogland and I do have the freedom of speech. I was mad, hurt, angry and confused. I did not take the time to think about anyone else. It was not fair for me to put that out there like that. Some people are private and I should have respected that.
32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2007?
~SIGHS~ Yeah, I did…bad girl … and only two people would know what I am talking about, and I am not about to spill it here.
33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2007?
hmmm the first 7 months of it listening to Marcus tell me every day he loved me…right.. Terry telling me I had nothing to worry about ..Again, yeah right… and well…there is more, but I am just not gonna get in to it. I pretty much have this deal where I don’t trust men and think they all lie. I am working on that issue.
35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2007?
Yeah, I had my moments. And I am working on getting over all that as well.
36) How much money did you spend in 2007?
Since I started working again, I am sure way more then I should.
38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007?
Oh! Let’s see…….. Just call me Grace LOLOL
39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2007 and change it, what would it be?
40) What are your plans for 2008?
To just keep plugging away at life one day at a time.
Visit my friends for sure! And just slow down and see where life takes me.
41) What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Got divorced. And hope to never have to do that again.
42) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Hmmm I don’t think so.
43) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More time to write. And maybe actually do something with it this year.
44) What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
45) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a new job, getting accepted in college after a break, finally being brave enough to get divorced
46) What was your biggest failure?
depression creeping back up on me, picking some of the wrong guys to go out with , never living up to my own expectations of myself, and my wicked evil self esteem issues that mess with my head.
47) What was the best thing you bought?
My new cool chic glasses…. LOL I can see now when I am reading and on the PC! My other glasses were old and the prescription was no longer good.
48) Whose behavior merited celebration?
Shannon, she finally got up out of that hell hole that was causing her so much stress and anxiety!
49) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Yikes! My own – seriously!
50) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having a job again, being close to my family even thought I don’t see them very much, getting back into school, earning my real estate appraisers license
51) Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? I am about the same as I was this time last year, just for different reasons.
52) What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercised, listened to my docs, spent more time with my friends while they were close by
53) What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being depressed, blaming myself for so much, worrying about what others are going to think
54) How will you be spending Christmas?
I don’t know, I really just want to lie in bed all day and wish it away.
55) How many one-night stands?
56) What was your favorite TV program?
UFC, The Ultimate Fighter, Prison Break, Lost
57) Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
You know, I always say that hate is just a waste of my time. But, sadly, there is someone that has burned me and I just really am still pissed off as all hell about it, so yeah, some hatred is running through my Irish blood right now.
58) What was the best book you read?
Oh gosh, I read so many I don’t really know where to start. But my fave is Needful Things by Stephen King; I read it just about every year.
59) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Bloodsimple, A Perfect Circle, Opeth, The 69 Eyes, Death Angel
60) What did you want and get?
Just the divorce
61) What did you want and not get?
I don’t seem to ever get what I want. I want true happiness. I want true love. I want peace within me.
62) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Julie came up from Texas and we went out with Shannon and the girls from work. Got tattooed. And partied hard. I turned 32. Whooopeeee
63) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Perhaps not losing Elonna, Terry…moving…who knows. We really have no way of knowing. Cause if these things did not happen, whose to say something else would not have.
64)How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I’m just me. I don’t follow trends. I like what I like. Comfort. Cool. Calm. Dressed up or down, I am pretty simple.65) What kept you sane?
Oh lord, I don’t think I was sane much this year. But my friends did a pretty good job of not letting me go off the deep end. Especially Shannon while we were working together in hell LOL
66) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Colin of COURSE!!! And Cillian Murphy! Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell of Prison Break ..Oh and lets not forget them UFC men LOLOL
67) What political issue stirred you the most?
The war, still. And all the shite in
68) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Life is too short for petty shit. Tell everyone just what is on your mind because tomorrow may be too late. That forever is a lie.
69) Quote a song lyric.
Well, I’m sitting alone thinking about it all over coffee.
And still crowdin’ my space are the things you still hold against me.
You cannot save me.
Well, it’s not the time to breakdown.
It’s not the time to breakdown.
It’s not the time to break up this love,
Keep it together now.
It’s not the time to break.
Read it all, no need for separating here.
You see what you want and try to justify.
All your little lines,
Convictions and your lies.
What right do you have to point at me?
70) Favorite discovered quote.
1) Was 2006 a good year for you?It was a serious coaster ride. It had many up and downs. Death. Depression. Heartache. Illness. But, on the flip side, I grew, I lived, and I learned. I had to overcome many things, and I did. For me, that is something to celebrate. And now, I face each day as best as I can, with a smile to help push me forward.
2) What was your favorite moment of the year? When I finally was offered a great job and got out of a serious 6 month long stay in bed depression.Yes, it really was that bad.
3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? Jan 3 – the loss of my grandfatherDec 6 – the loss of my dear sweet love, Lonnie
4) Where were you when 2006 began?in Okie, where I always am.
5) Who were you with?When the new year hit in Ireland (6pm okie time) I was with Elonna and Sean. When the new year hit in Okie time I was with Marcus.
6) Where will you be when 2006 ends?Someplace with Marcus I am sure, since it is also my anniversary.
7) Who will you be with when 2006 ends?See #6
8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2006?I didnt make any. I was too depressed to care.
9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?Yes, to keep taking charge of my health. And get my ass to Ireland once and for all.
10) Did you fall in love in 2006?Yes. More then once. Love that will forever be with me. Forever a part of me. Never having any regrets.
11) If yes, with whom?Everyone here pretty much knows the answer to that, for it was with Sean, then with Lonnie.
12) If yes, do they know?Of course they do. For they love me just the same.
13) Are you still in love with them?YES!! I will always love Lonnie. He is my guardian angel now. Forever a part of me. R.I.P. And I will always have a love for Sean.
14) Do you regret it?Not at all. And never will. And I mean that, NEVER. For in this life I have learned, live life, no regrets. Learn and move on.
15) Did you break up with anyone in 2006?No. Sean and I parted ways mutually although that love was still there. We always found a way back to each other. And well, Lonnie and I didnt not ever break up. You all know what happened there. If you don’t, then I suggest you go back a few blogs and read.
16) Did you make any new friends in 2006?I sure as heck did. LOTS of them!
17) Who are your favorite new friends?all of them….
18) What was your favorite month of 2006?March and July
19) Did you travel outside of the country in 2006?No 🙁 ….. but I should have, was suppose to, and now wish I did.
20) How many different places did you travel to in 2006?Michigan in Jan for gramps funeral, and again in Oct to visit mom and family
21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006? My gramps in January, and my love, Lonnie in December.
22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?YES! My gramps. My mom when she moved to Michigan for good. My family. Some of my friends. And I miss Lonnie a whole hell of a lot right now.
23) What was your favourite movie that you saw in 2006? Boondock Saints and The Wind that Shakes the Barley(thanks for that Patrick!)
24) What was your favourite song from 2006?Oh I have a few:
1. One – U2 and Mary J Blige
2. Far Away – Nickleback
3. Window in the Skies – U2
4. Red – WHY
5. Gaurdian Angel – Red Jumpsuit Aparatus
6. Tell Me Baby, Torture Me, Make You Feel Better & Hard to Concentrate – The Red Hot Chili Peppers
7. Time of my Life – Justin Manville
8. Savin Me – Nickleback
9. Lips of an Angel – Hinder
25) What was your favourite album from 2006?Hinder, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Red Jumpsuit Aparatus
26) How many concerts did you see in 2006?Zero
27) Did you have a favourite concert in 2006?N/A
28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2006? More then my fair share, especially the first half of the year.
29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2006?Only those perscribed, and that was a whole hell of a lot for a while there between the depression, the stomach and intestinal illness and the back issues.
30) How many people did you sleep with in 2006? not answering this one… sorry guys
31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?~SIGHS~ Yeah, maybe.
32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2006?wasnt so much that i lied, its what I kept to myself. But its pretty much all in the open now.
33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2006?I dont even want to go there right now. Sorry.
34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2006?There was a period when I was not very nice to Sean. And I feel badly about that still. Even though we have made our peace about it long ago. There are some friends that reached out to me during my depression that I just didnt want to have to explain what was wrong with me. And I pushed away a lot of people. I regret that now.
35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2006? Yeah, there were a few people that stepped on me and used me and treated me like shit. And all I got to say is, Kharma …it’s a bitch.
36) How much money did you spend in 2006?Since I started working again, I am sure way more then I should.
38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?Oh! Lets see……..
39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change it, what would it be? Most of you already know the answer to this. For that would be
(1) to not have felt like I had to prove anything to “A”, then maybe Lonnie would have never of gotten upset with me
(2) that event caused the whole downfall of our relationship for then he felt I had left him and off he went to his ex
(3) which led to him asking her to marry him for all the wrong reasons
(4) which led to me finding out from everyone but him
(5) when he did tell me I was very upset
(6) and sean was already angry at him, which led me to rant and rave even more
(7) knowing how sean still felt about me i should have kept my ranting and ravings to myself
(8) perhaps the brawl with lonnie and sean would not have happened
(9) perhaps lonnie would still be here
(10) and sean would not be sitting in jail , where he was awaing trial for the murder of one of his best friends, but now, is going to be paroled and they are just trying to figure out when.
40) What are your plans for 2007? To just keep plugging away at life one day at a time. To continue on the path of just being me.
41) What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?had to experience death of 2 people close to me
42) Did anyone close to you give birth?yeah my cousins
43) What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?Less anxiety and panic attacks. More time to write. More real friendships. Acceptance for the person I really am.
44) What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Jan 3 – gramps diedJuly 25 – started my new jobDec 6 – Lonnies deathI dont think any of these really need an answer as to why.
45) What was your biggest achievement of the year?Getting a new job
46) What was your biggest failure?quiting my job after gramps death, dropping out of school, falling into a deep depression and not working for 6 months.Losing Lonnie.
47) What was the best thing you bought? My project (RED) Motorola Cell phone
48) Whose behaviour merited celebration?hmmmmmm.. Brett for sure. Hes accomplished SO much this year (woo hoo *wepod* I am so proud of you!)
49) Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?my own at the beginning of the year
50) What did y
ou get really, really, really excited about? Having a job again
51) Compared to this time last year, are you:i. happier or sadder? Well this time last year I had just lost gramps, and was starting on my downward path to severe depression. Right now, I am still dealing with the guilt of Sean being in jail, and Lonnies death. Dealing with loss of Lonnie. But, all in all, I would have to say that I am in a better place today, then I was a year ago. I am dealing with things much better. Don’t get me wrong, when I think of Lonnie or Sean I get a extreme feeling of sadness that sometimes overwhelms me. But, I am able to cope much better with it.I have great friends and people who love me that surround me. And that has helped a great deal.
ii. thinner or fatter? the same
iii. richer or poorer? richer in so many ways
52) What do you wish you’d done more of?exercised, listened to my docs
53) What do you wish you’d done less of?Being depressed, blaming myself for so much
54) How will you be spending Christmas?Spent it @ my in laws house.
55) How many one-night stands?ugh whats with these questions
56) What was your favourite TV program?Miami Ink, Lost, Prison Break
57) Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?You know, I always say that hate is just a waste of my time. But, sadly, there are a few people that have burned me and I really am still pissed off as all hell about it, so yeah, some hatred is running through my irish blood right now.
58) What was the best book you read?Oh gosh, I read so many I dont really know where to start.
59) What was your greatest musical discovery?Christian Rock
60) What did you want and get?lovea better understanding of me from the hubby
61) What did you want and not get?Peace within me
62) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?I went to arkansas and partied with my best friend steph and her husband and got my irish angel tattoo. I turned 31.
63) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Not losing Lonnie.
64)How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? just me, relaxed and comfortable, at home, to relaxed professional at work.
65) What kept you sane?Oh lord, I dont think I was sane much this year. But, Elonna helped me out a great deal.
66) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?Colin of COURSE!!! And Cillian Murphy!
67) What political issue stirred you the most? The war.
68) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.Life is too short for petty shit. Tell everyone just what is on your mind because tomorrow may be too late. That forever is a lie.
69) Quote a song lyric.”That I love youi have=”” loved=”” you=”” all=”” along=”” And I miss you Been far away for far too longI keep dreaming you’ll be with meand you’ll never goStop breathing ifI don’t see you anymore “
70) Favorite discovered quote.””I’m troubled, I’m dissatisfied. I’m Irish.”” •Marianne Moore
January 9, 2006
Hello Everyone! I made it back safe and sound. Thanks to all of you that sent your prayers and well wishes my way. It really means a lot to me. It amazed me the outpouring of so much love.
I see that I have lots of blogs to catch up on. But, first I have to say one thing…..for those of you who tagged my ass while I was away (you know who you are) you all can bite my ass! I was away at a funeral, I got immunity damn it! The tribal council has spoken; we took a vote without you. Because I am so behind, and have so many tags, I am gonna skip this round. Yup, the brat is back.